Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining

I'm a woman, as such, I don't know much about cars and the things that go on with them.  I like it that way, I don't want to know much more than I do about them.  I harken back for the good ole days when dealing with cars was one of those grubby tasks deemed "mens' work."  So whenever anything out of the ordinary goes on with my car, immediately my blood pressure rises and my mood intensifies and I get ready to bend over and take it up the rear.  I own a Honda, I love my Honda.  It runs good, it rarely gives me any sort of grief AND it has heated leather seats.  Oh hell yeah, nirvana.  But...whenever the Honda needs something, there's always a chance I'm going to have to sell a kidney on ebay to pay for it. 

Tires..........such a basic, simple thing, every car needs them, can't run without them.  So why in the ever living FUCK do they have to be so damn expensive?  And what is it with that whole bait and switch crap in ads about matching prices and tires on sale and buy 3 get one free, etc...

Now maybe it's just MY piss-poor luck, but I NEVER, let me repeat that, NEVER EVER, get what is advertised.  It's always something like, "Oh we're out of stock on that one but for just 20 dollars MORE, you can get THIS one we do have in stock."  (20 bucks times 4 tires equals 80 freaking dollars MORE)  Or there's always some reason why my car can't use the particular one advertised or, my personal favorite, "The advertised tire has been discontinued and they were just using up the ones in stock in the warehouse so now we only have THIS one here which is only another 15 dollars per tire," and on and on and on and on.  Even if it's 8 fucking AM on the FIRST day of the sale, the warehouse stock is depleted.  What, did they only have 4 of those in stock and the assistant manager pre-ordered them as soon as the sales flyer came out?  And while I'm standing there fuming, trying to decide if I would rather go to prison for beating the crap out the guy in front of me or for robbing a bank to pay for the aforementioned tires, Mr. Tire Guy offers me an option.  "You know you can just get 2 tires now and come back for the other 2 when we have our sale next month."  Really?  Can I really?  I don't know about anyone else, but I have always replaced all tires at once unless I had a bum tire that got mangled in some sort of accident/flat type of thing.  Because I do what they tell me and rotate my tires regularly (so they wear evenly) they all NEED to be replaced at the same time.  And then there's always the "extra" charges.  Like the disposal fee (5 bucks per tire) and cost to put them on and balance them (15 dollars per tire) so again, the tires you thought you were getting for 500 dollars are now 680 dollars.  It's really interesting to note that sometimes they advertise a "special sale" where you get FREE installation and disposal of your old tires - but then the tires themselves are not on sale. Whatever...

 

I apparently ooze stupidity when it comes to cars and tires and repairs, etc...  Again, I freely admit having little to no working knowledge, however, this ain't my first rodeo cowboy.  Do NOT try to sell me something as a good deal when it's clear that you are trying to "sell me a good deal."  I may not know about cars but I do know about people and I can smell a verbal blow job a mile away.  Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.  Nothing infuriates me more than having someone treat me like I'm dumber than a box of rocks.  I may be ignorant when it comes to some things but I'm not stupid and I sure as hell am not going to sit here and let you talk down to me because I have a zipper instead of a fly in my slacks. 

 

I could go on and on for pages, but I think one of my tires is low and I need to get some air put in it.   Or the latest was that I need nitrogen in my tires.  WTF?  My tires need nitrogen instead of air?  They were running on air just fine last week.  What's next, will my tires have a problem breathing and need pure oxygen?  Is my health insurance going to cover the durable medical equipment or am I going to have to pay out of pocket for it?  Will that count toward my deductible?  Fuck, it's all too confusing, I have a headache now.