Don't Wear Your Play Clothes Out in Public

When did I miss the memo that it's okay to go out in public in your damn pajamas?  Now I'm usually on top of these kinds of things, because hey, I love being comfortable just as much as the next person.  But seriously, I work with people all day long, I live in the real world, I'm forced to run errands, grocery shop and just in general interact with John Q. Public.  So I'm noticing more and more that  people seem to think a pair of "pants" (and I use that term loosely) with a cartoon character printed all over them, are sufficient to wear out in public.   Not even necessarily with a t-shirt that also sports a cartoon character.  Nope the t-shirt is usually some really high class act with a logo that says "Marlboro" or "Coors."  Oh yeah now we're talking.  And if you're a girl, it has become obligatory to wear a shirt that shows off everything but the nipple.  Now if I want to see boobs, all I gotta do is look in the mirror.  I don't need, want or desire to see every boob belonging to someone under the age of 30.  And it seems predominant in that age group.  Not that I don't see an older age group sporting the aforementioned attire (or lack thereof), but it does seem to be more prevalent in the pre-30 age group. 

Now we all know that this particular generation, millennials, are already a bunch of whiny, self-entitled, self-important group of pussies who feel like the world owes them a living and they are entitled to get their feelings hurt over anything and everything that doesn't fit their view of the world as it should be.  Granted, I agree with one thing...anyone is entitled to their own opinion - absofuckinglutely - but no one is entitled to force their opinions on me, or demand that I cater to their desires and perceived needs.  You don't want to drink out of a plastic bottle?  Dandy, then don't, I don't give a rat's ass what you do or don't drink out of, but don't tell me I can't do it.  And if my drinking from a plastic bottle "offends" you, well, dude you got bigger problems than plastic bottles. 

But back to the pajama brigade.  I get it if it's 2:00am and you've got a sick baby and ran out of tylenol.  You throw on a pair of shoes and run to the nearest 24-hour store.  Absolutely, if you're decent (as in appropriately covered) then by all means, run and get the stuff you need.  But, at 2 pm on a Saturday afternoon, get your ass dressed.  Do these clowns have no self-respect at all?  Let's not even go down the road of respect for others, it's clearly obvious they don't have that, but you would at least think they might have enough self-respect to dress before going out.  It doesn't have to be formal attire, a t-shirt and blue jeans, or shorts and a tank-top even, but for the love of God and all that's holy, put some real clothes on and not "lounging clothes" (a trendy name for pajamas).  And IF you just gotta wear your "lounging clothes" because you're so trendy can you at least wash the fucking pizza and beer stains out of them once in a while?  But I digress...

And ladies, did no one ever tell you that leaving something to the imagination is far more enticing than displaying the goods for anyone and everyone to see?  And by the way, while that "hot" guy working in the food court is eyeballing your cleavage, just remember, the pervert who plays with himself in the men's bathroom and doesn't wash his hands when he's done is also eyeballing your cleavage.  And HE is making a mental image to conjure up the next time he decides to choke his chicken.  Think about that one for a minute!

Unless you are actively breastfeeding a baby, then I don't need, want or expect to see your boobs exposed.  It's not cute, it's not sexy, it doesn't make you look cool, it's just plain slutty and trashy.  I don't care how young and perky, big, small, whatever.  I'm not talking about a lowered neckline or a fancy dress that shows a bit of cleavage.  No, what I'm talking about is tank tops that are 2 sizes too small with everything busting out.  And while we're on the subject, I don't care what color underwear you are wearing or if you are even wearing it so....maybe don't wear your black undies with the yellow pants that fit you like a rubber on a watermelon.  And I sure as fuck don't want to see your camel-toe either so how about swallowing your pride and just buy a pair of pants that actually doesn't cut off your circulation when you put them on.  Just a thought..

And if you really can't help yourself and just can't put on clothing and gotta stay in your "lounging clothes" all day long because you are so fucking cool and relaxed and what-not, then order your shit online and save us all the visual pornography of looking at your in your kool-aid stained pajama pants and mismatched shirt.   After all, isn't that why Al Gore invented the internet, so we could do our shopping from home?  Consider the possibilities here...you can shop completely naked in all your glory without subjecting the rest of the world to your poor choices in tattoos and piercings, or your vast wardrobe of various super hero and cartoon character inspired "loungewear."   I mean really, you don't have to get dressed, you don't have to brush your teeth or comb your hair, you can drink kool-aid with vodka and wipe your flaming-hot cheeto stained fingers on your shirt with nary a care for anyone else.  Oh but wait, how is that different from any other day? 

Ffffuuuucccckkkk